Thursday, August 1, 2013
So we went home and didn't think much of it. Well, this morning, he showed up at our house. He has been wandering around, sniffing everything, avoiding my kids, and then napped in the stroller, totally at home. So I'm not sure why he is still here, I won't let the kids feed him because I have a hard enough time keeping food on the table for the hungry boys I already am responsible for. Plus, if we ever have a cat, I want it to be a mouser, not lazy.
So we will see if he sticks around, I don't know why he would, but hey, you never know. It would make Josh beyond happy.
As for me, I just want this baby to come. I know I have no reason to feel like it should be here already, my technical due date is Monday. But I still would LOVE the millions of contractions to actually mean something. I barely sleep because the contractions get so bad at night and then in the morning...nothing. Why oh why all the faking me out? This little stinker.
I was so cranky this morning. Tyson poked me or pushed me or something, (don't worry, it is a sign of affection and usually I like it) but it just made me start crying because it hurt. My hips hurt, my legs hurt, I'm just sick of being pregnant and want the healing process to start so I can get better, not be stuck in the limbo of plumpness. So I start bawling and feel so dumb because seriously, why am I crying? Nothing is actually wrong with me.
"I am just so sick of this kid! Why won't he come already?"
But Tys has become very experienced in dealing with my moodiness. And he just laughed and hugged me. Then he reminded me I called Caleb, while I was pregnant with him, the "baby from hell" because I was so not myself. I was whiny and cranky and cried ALL the time. And then right after I had Matthew, they tried to hand him to me and I wouldn't take him because I was so mad at him. That delivery hurt and the oxytocin hadn't kicked in yet. :) After like 10 seconds, I relented and then loved the little guy more than ever before.
I guess I just don't like pain, I don't like waiting and I don't like what pregnancy does to me. So I kind of blame the poor kid. But I mean really, it isn't their fault. I am the one that wanted to have another baby so badly.
Don't worry, I calmed down and am not too frustrated with this little un-named child anymore. I just am ready for him to come. Until I have a hard contraction and then I get a vague remembrance of my last delivery and worry about going through it again.
Babies are so worth it, but if teens could experience just 5 minutes of pregnancy or delivery, there would be no unwed mothers or teen pregnancy. Seriously, no sane person would do it.
My little sister Carmel was joking around and had a balloon belly yesterday and after just 10 minutes of trying to live like I do (and the balloon didn't hurt her, it was just in the way), she was so done and couldn't believe how frustrating it was. Seriously. The things we women do to carry on the race, just baffles my mind. :)
But I'm really glad I get to. They are so stinking cute. I am just really glad I waited until I met Tyson and we are married. I don't know how people do it without a husband.
So yeah, I am just here waiting...trying to be grateful and not cranky.
I will post pics as soon as the kid decides he is ready. :)