So sometimes I find myself wondering, "what more could go wrong?" But then I feel awful because I know so much goes right for me. We have been trying to find a house that we can afford to buy, or rent, or something. We just want a yard, a little place that is ours, where I can let me little boy(s) play. We have this house that we kind of call our dream house. It is just out of our price range, and we met with the owner on Tuesday. We wanted him to go down, a lot, on the price, either that or let us rent it or something. He said no. I feel like this keeps happening, housing gets more and more expensive, our apartment gets smaller (well, it feels that way), our family gets bigger, and I have stopped working completely, thus income is not increasing. Then we took our car in to get the yearly inspection, right after we paid the insurance and registered it for 2 years. It was rejected, for lots of reasons, expensive ones. Then there are other little things that I know are going to cost us money any minute. Like our laptop, we keep praying that it keeps working even with all its quirks. All three of us need to go to the dentist, but who can afford that? Not to mention this squirmy squirrel that is coming soon. Money, money, money. Where is it going to come from?
The worst part is that Tyson has always felt that he is suppose to be wealthy, that the Lord wants him to be that way so he can help others. And I try really hard to not blame myself, like I am somehow doing something or not doing something that is making it impossible for Tyson to be what he needs to be.
I know this is all silly, especially since the Lord has blessed us with so much. Our beloved Sammy (our car) has lasted us so long, against all odds and protected us from so much. All three (four) of us are healthy and strong despite the lack of nutrition in our diet. :) Our apartment does fit us, for now, and it is a nice cool place to shelter me and my growing belly from the heat and humidity. Tyson has a great job that he is learning so much from, and he did just get a raise AND a promotion, so I really should not be complaining. I just worry too much. Oh me of little faith.
But who can worry too long with a little curly haired boy running into walls because he is wearing a basket on his head? He may look just like Tyson, but he is for sure as weird as me. :)