Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Birds and The Bees

My boys are getting old.  It is bizarre how fast diapers, feeding, constant care turns into sports, hikes, eating, smelly feet, and giggling about fart noises and burping.  It is disgusting, but completely hilarious at the same time.  I love my boys.  It is bitter-sweet for sure to see them growing up so fast.

With all the growth spurts and the quick paced world we live in, I know it is only a matter of time before my boys have friends or they will hear in school or TV or something about sex.  And I didn't want them to not know about it from us first, the way it is supposed to be taught.  I have been thinking about it a lot lately, especially with gay marriage being legalized.  How can I teach them about that and how that fits (well doesn't fit) in the Lord's commandments, if they don't even understand the basics first?

I counseled with my husband about what to do, and he said, "let's talk to them about it."  I am freaking out, probably getting ulcers about it, wanting to do tons of research on how to say it best.  Thankfully I married the best man out there.  It was no big deal.  After our bedtime routine, he sent the younger three to bed so that we could talk to the older two.  It was the cutest thing, seeing my older boys perched around their dad, listening so intently to everything he had to teach them.

Tyson explained how our bodies are sacred and how we have special parts that Heavenly Father gave us so we can make babies.  We need a guy and a girl to make a baby.  We (okay he did, I was still freaking out inside) taught them about the technical terms:

T: "Us boys, our sacred part is called a penis.  And girls have special parts called a vagina, uterus and ovaries."
C: "Kind of like overalls?"
T: "Um, no, nothing like overalls, but good try."

(In case you are wondering, we laughed a lot.  It is so easy to not be too serious with these boys.  It is difficult to not get too giggly, but we did pretty good.)

We also discussed when and with who using our special parts was okay.

T: "So we use our special parts to make babies.  Can you guys think of when it is not okay to use our special parts?"
C: "Like, at a dance?"
T: "Very good, we wouldn't want to do that at a dance."
J: "At a restaurant?"
T: (trying to gulp for air he is laughing so hard) "Very good, I never would have thought of that.  For sure not at a restaurant. When else?"
C: "At a store?"
T: "Yes, yes, very good." pause to get control of himself "What I was getting at is that we only use our special parts when we are married and with the person we are married to."

We also talked about how boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls, but Heavenly Father has taught us that marriage is only between a man and a woman.  That way children can be born into a family that has a dad and a mom that love them and take care of them and teach them to do what is right.  These people aren't bad, they are just making some bad decisions.

T: "Some people like people that are the same.  Like some boys like boys.  Josh, I think you like girls right?"
J: "Oh, I like girls.  Yes, I like girls." (with a giant goofy grin)
T: "And Caleb, you like girls because you have a girlfriend right?"
C: "Yup, I don't have more than one girlfriend yet, because I haven't found another one yet."
T: "Hmmm, yeah, you will."

(Obviously, I have more to teach them about how we should only have one girlfriend at a time, but I don't think single dating should start yet...)

It was a very interesting conversation and I am so amazed by how intelligent yet simple Tyson handled it all.  The boys had some questions but weren't shocked and totally grossed out.  I think it was a success.  The Lord's plan for us is so perfect.  I love that my littles have their daddy to help them and teach them and train them.  I want my boys to learn what the Lord wants them to do, then pray about it and act how they feel they should.  I hope their questions, which will come all too soon, will be something I can answer.  I need to make sure I am capable of being humble enough I can hear what the Lord wants me to say.

1 comment:

  1. You guys are awesome. Thanks so much for sharing this. I think about this all the time--how to bring up these topics and create the atmosphere and relationships that will encourage an ongoing conversation, as needed. I remember in my classes at school I always heard that the subject ideally should be brought up to kids around when they are 8 years old, so I have totally wondered if you guys and some of our other friends with 8-ish year olds were doing this. We are going to have to talk to you guys and get tips when we get to this point. So glad it went well! Sounds like you handled the conversation perfectly! Love you!