So I am usually a relatively calm individual, well kind of. But this past week I have been super freakishly emotional. I know I am pregnant and all, so this is normal, but wow, there is a lot of hormones in me apparently. So last night, as Tyson starts snoring (kind of), and I am laying there, I can't stop thinking. I start thinking about my parents and how much I miss them, how I want my kids to know them. I start to wonder why I am so protective of them and why I am so clannish. Then I start wondering what I was like before, when I still lived at home. Am I still the same person? I mean, I used to be fun and I laughed a lot and I was crazy. Then I started thinking about how I was when Tyson and I were dating and I realized how much I have changed. The poor guy must feel like he is married to a completely different person now. That is when I started crying, that isn't unusual, just so you know. Then I kept crying and wondering what has become of me? I have become so obsessed with being a mom, I worry that I have lost my identity completely. That is when Tyson woke up and realized I was crying, so he wraps his arms around me and asks me whats wrong. So then I start telling him what I was thinking, and then I started telling him things that I was worried about that I didn't even realize I was worried about. Then I realized the baby is due in 8 weeks, and that is when I started basically freaking out. Tyson was trying to calm me down and trying not to laugh, which made me want to laugh, but then I was crying and laughing and it came out like hysterical screaming. Sometimes, I really feel bad for my husband, he must worry about my sanity levels a lot.
Anyways, I finally calmed down after a few minutes of that. I have the best husband ever. But seriously, it is weird sometimes when I realize how much I have changed since I became a mom. I guess I just get nervous that I will become even more "no fun" when the next one comes. But at the same time, everything is way better in the morning when you have some sleep to calm you down. But can I just tell you that I love Tyson so much? I do, I don't think I could have dreamed up a better best friend.