Thursday, November 12, 2015

Boys and Boogers

Boys can be very gross.  They toot (I hate the word fart for some reason), they burp, they pee anywhere and everywhere just because they can, they think every weird joke is insanely hilarious.  Like this one Josh told us the other day:

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

I know, I know, I almost shot water out my nose because I was trying to keep from laughing.  That didn't help, it only made me and all the boys laugh harder.  It is not easy trying to teach boys what is and isn't appropriate, when sometimes not very classy things, are downright hilarious.

Another thing boys have a fascination with is boogers.  I HATE boogers.  Like I have a psycho phobia of them.  I know I have boogers.  Everyone does.  But they can be taken care of discretely.  I do understand to some level how they are cool.  Especially when little babies get them and they almost completely block their nasal cavity they are so big.  It is kind of rewarding to finally unlodge it.  I guess I can in some way see that appeal.

But once it is out, throw it away, don't look at it, don't flick it, and do NOT eat it.

Well, you can imagine how unheeded that directive goes in my house.  But at least I am not the only one that suffers.  My sister has been coming over a lot lately.  I still can't quite understand why she wants to.  She comes here to sleep and relax of all places.  How she can and chooses to sleep in a war zone of toddlers, I will never understand.

Anyways, she was over today and Matthew climbs up next to her to snuggle.  She glances over at him and this is kind of the way things went down from there:
-Oh gross, Matthew, don't pick your nose.
-Matthew, seriously, don't do that.  Why don't you go get a tissue?
-I don't need one.
-Oh no way, that is such a huge booger, go get a tissue---no, no, don't eat it!
Munching and smacking.
-That is disgusting.
About 30 seconds goes by.
-How are you still chewing it?
Matthew gives a charming dimpled smile only Matthew can give and then you hear a gulp.
-I always eat my boogers. They are so tasty.
-Well, that's gross.  Don't think about giving me kisses anytime soon.
Matthew seems completely undaunted and quite pleased with himself with a smirk and smacks his lips.  I just sat on the opposite couch trying not to think about it and enjoying the fact that he had another girl to torture for the moment.

I am really grateful the Lord gave me boys, but man, they sure can be disgustingly adorable.

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