Happy Birthday Bunky!

Cheers to my little sister Kenni, you are now 20. I am so excited for you, everyone dreams of marriage and that fabulous "happy ending," but let me tell you, all the fun is only beginning. I wanted to thank you for being such an incredible sister for these reasons:

1. More than half my wardrobe is your hand-me "downs" (or ups, it should be in our case).

2. You are seriously the most gorgeous woman in the planet.

3. You give me manicures and pedicures and pay for my hair cuts (ok, well, pretty sure Mom does, so thanks Mom), but you take me to get my hair cuts. :)

4. Whenever I am scared because Tyson is not home, you will either come over or talk to me until I'm not scared anymore.

5. You share everything with me.

6. We can talk about anything, anytime, no matter how long we haven't seen each other, or haven't talked.

7. We have a million inside jokes.

8. You are going to be so cute pregnant.

9. Life would be so dull without you.

10. Because you have always been my best friend.

I love you Splunket! Thanks for letting me call you something different everytime I talk to you, and thanks for being such an awesome sister!

Budgeting

"Budgeting does not make one spend less, it only makes you feel guilty when you do."

So I love food, flowers, pizza, movies, new clothes, basically anything that costs money. I guess most people do. Now, I know we are really lucky and really we have so much to be thankful for. Our cupboards really aren't bare and if they were, we could afford to buy food, it just isn't in the budget. Both Tyson and I have been trying so hard to keep to the budget we have set, trying to save money because we really want to get a house, but we don't want to have thousands hanging over our head in debt. Thus, the budget. So we don't (well, we shouldn't) eat out, buy clothes if we don't absolutly have to, buy food unless it is something that is needed, drive unless we have to, stuff like that. Poor Tyson has to walk to work (that isn't so bad, but it is that he doesn't have great shoes, so his feet and back kill all the time unless he wears his tennis shoes with his work clothes, so humiliating for the poor darling). We are on tooth paste "rationing" as Tyson calls it, and I swear everything in this world is getting more expensive by the second. Chicken costs $10 for like 5 chicken breasts. What is that? And $3.50 a gallon and soaring for gas? How are we supposed to live?! I have to drive 15 min to my job and back, soon it won't even be worth what I am getting paid. Not to mention, I don't just need food, I am also a food source. I don't know if I can handle being rationed any lower. Hehe, no really, I just like to vent, we really are very blessed. But sometimes I wonder how we are going to keep paying for all the things we need when they just keep getting more expensive and we are getting paid the same amount we were before.

Yesterday

Yesterday, Saturday, was an amazing day in my life. Tyson and I slept in until 8 (sad, that is late for us), and played with Josh. I love Saturdays because they are the only day that I get to spend all day with Tyson. Josh is so happy in the mornings and he loves it when his daddy is there when he wakes up and can stay and play. It is like the movies with the Mom and Dad in bed and the little kids coming in and they rough house and laugh (only, Josh can't come running, we go get him). Then we went into town and out to lunch, then walked to the bank. Then we went to this cool bookstore, I absolutely love bookstores, I could live in them or a library and be completely happy. We got "The Hobbit" and a few 'Little Critter' books for Josh. Then we drove to another town about 15 min. away and took pictures of all the pretty trees ( I LOVE Virginia in the Spring, there really is no other place like this is the world! ), and went to Walmart to get plants. Then we went to Kenni and Chris's and got some wood for planter boxes and talked to them for a little while. When we finally went home again, the clouds were piling up in the sky and little drops of rain were falling, but my he-man built a planter box. (I love watching Tyson work his magic, it is fascinating all the little things he knows or just figures out how to do, especially when it involves muscles. Perhaps I am awful, but I still find it so incredibly attractive :) ) Then we planted all our beautiful new flowers. I thought I knew everything about my darling husband, but often I find there is so much to him that I never realized before. Like yesterday, he loves planting, and he is really good at it. I on the other hand, have a black thumb, I am lucky if I can get flowers to survive a week, and animals, that is just one sad story after another, and so having a child was the greatest leap of faith I have ever taken. :) But seriously, I'm not kidding. Well, so then after the plants were all in their new soil, Tyson worked on his 40 page research paper (also something he loves doing, crazy) and I tried not to bug him. Then Kenni and Chris came over, made brownies and we talked for awhile. (I love that girl, by the by) And then Tyson and I read "The Hobbit" until we couldn't keep our eyes open.

-side note, yes, Josh really was with us this whole time, he just slept for most of it (suprisingly).-

Perhaps some may say that all that stuff is just normal, or really busy, but I hadn't had so much fun in a long time. I love being with my family, and I love being with Tyson. It was so wonderful, the weather was perfect and I was just so happy. I was with the people I love, doing things I enjoy, making our world a little prettier. I can't really explain to people just how hard a marriage becomes when a kid enters the scene. People used to try to tell me, but I always thought I would be the exception. Well, I'm not. Josh is adorable and a great kid, but Tyson and I are really different with him and because of him, in both good and bad ways. We both get a lot less sleep, he costs a lot of money, Tyson has to work a lot harder, and so do I, but not for money anymore, so that also equals less income. We are never really alone, and rarely do I ever think about anything but Josh when we are away from him. But we also love the little guy, he has taught us so much about patience and charity and families, God and Eternity. I know there will be tons of hard times in the future, and only more kids and less time together as just me and my hunny. But, I will always look back to this day and smile, it was just perfect. And I am so thankful for Heavenly Father and that His ways are so much greater than my own. I would never had had this joy if not for Him.

Book Idea...

So to all my high school buddies. I have kind of been tossing around the idea of writing about my experiences in high school. I don't really want to ever try to publish it (ya know, if I actually ever make it to that satge in my writing career), but I just wanted to write it for fun and give you all copies if you want. So if you have any stories that you remember and you want to write them down and email or send them to me, that would be really cool. I only have my memories and journals, and although first person is cool, a more into everyone's minds story would be way better. Just anything about the times you love most or didn't love, anything, and it really doesn't have to have me in the memory at all. It would be neat to see what you all thought and felt. If not, that is fine, and it doesn't have to be right away. I was just thinking it would be a cool idea...

Growing Up

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait until the next step in my life. I wanted to date, and then when I could, I wanted a boyfriend, then when I got that, I wanted to get married. Same thing with school, I wanted the next school, not the one I was in. Now I am kind of in that post-graduate phase. I am taking writing classes. I am married, I have a kid. And all the sudden, I don't really want to grow up anymore. Sure it would be nice to be in a bigger home, and it will be fun to have more kids someday if the Lord trusts me with them after this one. :) But seriously, going gray (when sadly is happening already), seeing my husband less and less and having more and more to do, I am excited for it all, but kind of sad. It is like I am at the peak of where I always wanted to be and all the rest, I haven't really planned out and I'm not sure how to take it. It is like all the movies, I am in the "happily ever after" part, but nobody ever talks about that or what to do then.

But the hardest and best thing of all is watching little Josh grow up. I know, he is only 4 1/2 months old, but it alread has gone by so fast. It is fascinating to watch a child grow, it is like looking at a plant everyday and you see it slowly come out of the ground and get little leaves and you can see it grow. I have so much pride when Josh does anything new. But, with ever new phase something adorable is kind of lost, and that is just part of growing up.

When he was born he was adorable, really skinny, red and wrinkly. He was like a little squirrel that could curl up on my chest and sleep. He would smile at random moments and I got to watch him learn how to see and focus on objects, and then move his limbs.

He learned to smile when he was happy. He got chubbier, and he didn't look so much like an old wrinkly man. When he ate he would always stick his toe in my belly button. He was snuggly but liked to look around him and loved everyone.

Now he is so chubby and smiles and giggles. He doesn't ever hold still. He is so precious, as always. He is so long I have a hard time feeding him. He is starting to get teeth. He eats little baby cereal sometimes, and he just started rolling over. He is growing up so fast.

I just know that he will say and think things like "I can't wait till I'm old enough to eat what Mom's eating" or "I can't wait until I can walk around" or "Someday I will be as tall as my Dad someday" or "Someday I am going to go to school." These are all wonderful things and I will love watching him. But there is a certain sadness in the growing.

I'm glad Elder Ballard told mothers to "live in the moments." Because once that moment is gone, I can never get it back. But luckily, if I live in that moment, I can always remember it.

Follow Up from 'Waiting'

We didn't get the manager position for our apartment complex. That is okay, I had a hard time with it at first but I know somehow the Lord will find a way for us to get by. I just need to start publishing books or something. :) The Lord usually works in ways that I do not understand, but it is always turns out way better than I hoped for.

Conference

I loved Conference. It amazes me that I used to dread it. I would fall asleep whenever I watched it and make faces at all the old men on the TV screen. I even gave up the opportunity to go to Pres. Hinckley's birthday party once, how foolish I was. This year I didn't want it to end. Tyson and I watched The Testaments afterwards because it just felt so good to feel the Spirit so strongly, I didn't want it to go away. I enjoyed all the talks, and even with my first time having a baby to take care of I didn't have to miss a single talk. I feel so blessed to have been born into the LDS faith, I never had to search churches to find the truth, I just had to have faith in what I had always been taught. Faith, that is something that used to come so easily for me. Lately it seems as though I fear everything. I am so worried that something will happen to my little baby, or every kiss and hug with Tyson will be the last. I know this life is so frail and we have no guarentees of how long we will live. But my fear was eating me alive. I couldn't sleep, and I was constantly have emotional breakdowns, and I was being so selfish of Tyson's time. So I have been reading the Conference talks from last August, and Elder Hales talked about the need to receive personal revelation, that we need to pray and have faith. I realized then that my faith was slipping away from me because I did not trust in God enough. "If ye have faith, ye shall not fear" (? I'm pretty sure that is a scripture) and "Fear none of these things which thou shalt suffer..." (Rev 2:10). It was amazing to me when I prayed, how much peace I felt. I do not know what will happen in this life, but I must trust in the Lord. It was such a wonderful feeling, listening to Conference and feeling that incredible feeling of peace that no one else can give but the Lord, and it is all because He loves us.

For Mama Hardy

For Mom Cooper

Waiting

I love where we live, we live in this little apartment complex and almost everyone here is married couples also. The people that live right across the way from us have a cute little girl and they are like our best friends. All the missionaries in the city also live in the apartments too, and everyone has to abide by the SVU honor code while living here. So it is a cute little Mormon community. The only problem is that rent is really high and without me working very much, we don't have much money for anything else. So we applied to become the apartment managers. I think it would be fun, we would get to be in charge of get togethers, people's rent (which means I would get to know everyone here, plus I just love checks and organizing), and our rent will be cut way down, which would be a huge blessing. Well, one other couple in the complex got interviewed for the job as well, and so we are kind of in limbo, just waiting to see who got it. I really want to get the job, but I also know that the other couple probably needs it too. Waiting is just so hard. I have my hopes up, but I'm not sure if I should have my hopes up, I'm trying to be nice and not wanting to be sad if we don't get it and trying not to have hard feelings for the other couple if they do get it. Oh, waiting...

I'm with Marissa, I just love these things. Especially since today is rainy and cold. I just am not looking forward to going out into it in about an hour for work...

01. what time did you get up this morning? the first time, 6:30 with Tyson, for real, 8:00
02. diamonds or pearls? diamonds
03. what was the last film you saw at the cinema? "Becoming Jane," I was still pregnant.
04. what is your favorite tv show? Beverly Hillbillies, and Boy Meets World.
05. what do you usually have for breakfast? cereal, always cereal.
06. what is your middle name? Claire
07. what food do you dislike? mushrooms.
08. what is your favorite cd at moment? I haven't really listened to music since Josh was born, I don't know why...
09. what kind of car do you drive? an oldsmoblie cutless supreme, '89, we call her Samantha or Sammy for short.
10. favorite sandwich? pb&j.
11. what characteristic do you despise? i don't know, I think when people are always whispering and laughing at other people, especially when the others can hear them.
12. favorite item of clothing? pjs, I'm not really into clothes.
13. if you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Brazil, Wales, Scotland, Germany, Prince Edward Island, anywhere.
14. favorite brand of clothing? the comfy kind
15. where would you retire to? Oregon, Washington or New Hampshire.
16. what was your most recent memorable birthday? 2006, 6 days before my wedding, I turned 21 and Tyson, my Mom and Dad and I had a rootbeer chugging contest.
17. favorite sport to watch? basketball.
18. furthest you've ever taken a trip from your home? Italy or Bolivia, not sure which one is farther away, pretty sure Italy.
19. morning person or a night person? night if Tyson is home, otherwise morning, I do a lot at night, it came from my many days staying up late in high school to do homework.
20. what is your shoe size? 10, sometimes 11
21. pets? nope, not allowed to in our apartments, plus I don't like fur everywhere, but I do want a cat or a cute puppy someday.
22. any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? nope, i thought i was pregnant, but i'm not, thank goodness, I couldn't handle that so soon, although I already am baby hungry again.
23. what did you want to be when you were little? an artist and the first female president of the US.
24. what is your favorite flower? pansies, they remind me of my grandparents, and they are small and strong like me. I also love yellow roses.
25. what is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Next Monday, we are getting a crib for Joshua!
26. what are you listening to right now? the rain and Josh snoozing.
27. what was the last thing you ate? Burger King, totally bad for you but I was so hungry and we haven't gone shopping in weeks, so sad.
28. do you wish on stars? always, mostly for other people, I honestly have everything I want.
29. if you were a crayon, what color would you be? Rissa, I like your answer, but I think probably yellow, I would like to be the sunshine in all the little kid drawings, or maybe the brown, not very pretty but very useful.
30. how is the weather right now? rainy and very cold, but very pretty.
31. last person you spoke to on the phone? tyson
32. favorite soft drink? sprite.
33. favorite restaurant? Franks for the Memories, it is this cute little outdoor cafe here.
34. favorite toy as a child? I had a stuffed lamb named Jellybean when I was young, and then a doll named Lizzie when I got a little older.
35. summer or winter? summer, but not here, too muggy, summer in Utah.
36. chocolate or vanilla? chocolate, always chocolate.
37. when was the last time you cried? Too long ago, which probably means I will bawl tonight, I always have to cry.
38. what did you do last night? Tyson was in some meetings for church and someone came to the door knocking, so I hid with Josh in a closet for a few hours, hehe...I am so ashamed of how scared I get.
39. what are you afraid of? Dark nights, dying, but especially Josh or Tyson dying, I am consummed with that fear, and I check Josh to see if he is still breathing like a thousand times. I need to have more faith, less fear.
40. salty or sweet? sweet.
41. how many keys on your key ring? car, trunk, apartment, old work (oops, hehe), new work-5.
42. how many years at your current job? 7 months, 2 to go at my babysitting one. And 4 months, forever to go at being a mom.
43. favorite day of the week? Saturday, the only day I get to spend all day with Tyson.
44. favorite random thing that happens daily? the mail! I guess that isn't really random...

i tag you.

Ode to Abigail Marie

All my life I have wondered what it would be like to have an older sister. I often watched people confide in their big sister and tell them stories and get all sorts of good advice. Well, I may not have a biologically older sister, but lucky for me Yance had a girlfriend in high school that became one of my best friends. Kenni and I used to go over to Abby's house and watch movies and have sleepovers. All three of us would sleep in her bed and not wake up tell the late afternoon. Yance was gone in the military and she had become like family. She taught me how to wear makeup (not that I ever do now though) and how to flirt and go cruising. She taught me to love singing and music, and to not be so shy. She taught me about certain clothing must always match, and she taught me to love Yance when I didn't really get along with him at all. I was 12 years old when she came into my life and even last night, I called her long after Tyson and Josh had gone to bed and we talked for a few hours. I still follow in her footsteps, I got married a year after she did, I got pregnant a year after she did, and I had a little boy a year after she did, and I named him Joshua, like she did.

Abigail Marie,

thank you for being my sister, and my friend. I love you.

10 Things

So, although I wasn't really tagged, I don't really care, I just was thinking about what I would write, so I am going to write it...
10 things most people don't know about me:

10. I hate being alone at night, and I really hate being alone when I am shopping.

9. When I had my c-section, I was more afraid of getting a cathader than getting cut open.

8. Whenever I am sick, I still only want my mom.

7. I am a really bad speller and I have awful grammar. However, I graduated with my major being English, kind of ironically sad.

6. I don't like olives, but I will eat them. However, I refuse to eat mushrooms.

5. If they was still running, I would have voted for Ron Paul, not Mitt.

4. I believed in the Easter Bunny until I was 12, even after I found out Santa wasn't real, I refused to believe the Easter Bunny didn't exist.

3. If I could, I would live off of rolls, fruit and chocolate all the days of my life.

2. I absolutely love the mail, even if it is just junk mail or bills. Which also reminds me that I love paying bills mostly because I love writing checks. Slightly absurd, I know.

1. I am not afraid of bees. Tyson calls me the "bee charmer."

I tag Kenni, Amber, and anyone else. I just like these things. I'm not sure why...

Crib hunting

It will be something like this

So I have never really been one to call people or go out of my way to get something that we need. I don't care for shopping, especially if it is with my money. I just am slightly lazy and shy. It seems as if every time I go to the grocerey store, something embarrasing happens to me. Like last time, for example, the milk carton fell out from the carrier under the cart and busted open. So there I am, with this massive diaper bag, my son and his car seat practically taking up the entire front of the cart and milk dripping everywhere. I felt like such a dork. So anyways, on to my original story. So Tyson has tons to do, so whenever it comes to things like shopping, or getting doctors appointments or things like that, he really tries to get me to do it because he just doesn't have time, and I really need to get over my freakish embarresment (I'm pretty sure I'm spelling that wrong, but oh well). So Josh still doesn't have a crib, he has been sleeping in his car seat. He kind of had reflux when he was born, so I was terrified to lay him flat in his bassinet, so he won't sleep in that now, plus he is just too big (he is huge by the way). So, Tyson says "if you really want to get a crib, get one, you can have $100, find one, and we'll get it. So, first Target, the cheapest one is like $150. No go. So Walmart, that is ok, $100, but with the mattress, that is like $200. So I call like every furniture place in town, but they don't carry cribs. Just so you know, calling people is really hard for me, I was very proud of myself. So then I got on craigslist.org. Way cool site. And I found some stuff, and then I advertized my need, and vaula (that is phonetic spelling for the french saying, hehe) someone contacts me. So, we are getting a crib, and I am soooo happy. Tyson was so suprised I went all out. But see for some reason I really really want a crib. And not just any crib, a certain crib, with a certain color. It isn't that I don't like dark wood colors, but it is just that I need that light color, it just seems right for a child. So all my labors are producing good fruits, huzza. Oh, and the price for crib and mattress, $70. They say housewives do nothing, I may not make money, but I can save it. :)

Not a joke

My son is teething, and I'm pretty sure I'm about to lose my mind.