Greatest Gift

I have heard that the best thing you can do for your children is to love your spouse.  And let me tell you, I sure love my boys' Daddy. I am super lucky, because he loves me too.  You know how I know?  My boys love me and treat me really well, because their daddy taught them how.

Today all the boys are home from school because of "inclement weather."  What does that even mean anyway?  I just know it means things close.  Anyways, we had a readathon today to keep the boys busy at least for a little while and then I could read in semi-peace, at least during nap time for the two younger ones.  The dream for a mom.  Peace.

Ok, ok, so I am reading this book called "The Christmas Train," and so far I am loving it.  So this character in the story is talking about how even good men don't think to keep their woman's feet warm.  And I think, well, I am super lucky, because Tyson almost always sits in a way to keep my feet warm.  No joke, right then, Josh comes over and asks "are your feet cold?" and grabs me a blanket and covers my feet.  It was the cutest thing.

And then he says, "Mom, so at school, a few weeks ago my teacher asked all of us what the best gift is that you ever got.  Most of the kids were talking about their toys and stuff but I said, 'my mom."

Yup, I pretty much cried and had it confirmed, these are the moments I do not want to forget.  I am so glad he looks past my cranky moments and all the times I make him do chores and run laps around the house and help take care of his little brothers.  Kids truly are amazing.  We need to learn to be more like them.  When you focus on moments like this, life is really good.

God Only Knows

Each of my children seem to be growing taller and more capable every time I blink my eyes.  It is a little terrifying and yet incredible to witness.  My demanding, often bossy little two year old will play outside by himself now and even stay inside the fence and keep the rules.  I didn't know if that would ever happen.  My adorable little six month old got onto his hands and knees yesterday and started rocking back and forth.  I suspect he will be crawling in the next few days.  He got shots today and didn't even cry.  He whimpered and then stopped.  I am pretty sure he is far tougher than I am already.  These boys will truly do amazing things in their little lifetimes.  I know that because they already have.

My four year old, Matthew, is a bundle of energy.  And by energy I mean like a typhoon ready to take you down.  Literally.  His goal is to see how many people he can tackle every day.  It is exhausting trying to keep his energy at a less than boiling temperature.  You are only safe from him when he is sleeping.  He really wanted to go to preschool this year.  A real preschool, like his big brother went to last year.  Even though it costs quite a bit of money, we were planning on it.  But something kept bugging me about it.  I felt like he shouldn't, he needed more time at home.  So we found a co-op group of moms that were doing a preschool together and so that is what we have been doing for little Matthew.  He is only gone a few hours a week and I am really grateful.  It is nice to have him be the big kid at home most of the time and to get a few more hours with him than I would have otherwise.

I was thinking about this today as I watched him color at the table.  He would have been at school during that time if he went to the "real" preschool.  But instead, I got to watch him dance around as he picked up crayons from around him, perch them by his lips as he studied the paper, and then stick his tongue out in concentration as he made a few marks on his picture.  Then the process was repeated.  I could tell he had a vision of what he wanted to create.  I could also tell he had some song or beat going on in his head as he moved around to the rhythm I couldn't hear.  And I was so thankful.  Maybe the Lord had lots of reasoning to keep Matthew home more.  I'm sure there were lots of little things, and maybe many more that I have yet to discover, if I ever will.  But if it was just so I could see this one moment and realize that Matthew has a passion for coloring that I hadn't noticed before and that he is growing up so much that his coloring actually looks like something and not just scribbles and shapes.  I needed that moment watching my little buddy.

Life changes people so quickly, especially our little people.  The Lord knows that.  He also knows just what we need, what we don't need, what we will want and how to give us that.  I am so thankful that He is a God that is involved in our lives.  He lets us make our own choices.  And He is ready to tell us how to make the right choices that will make us happy, if we will just listen.  I am so thankful for His presence in my life and for giving me the glimpses and moments that make me remember my purpose here.  Try to recognize something in your life today that only the Lord knew you would need...and be grateful for it.

Boys and Boogers

Boys can be very gross.  They toot (I hate the word fart for some reason), they burp, they pee anywhere and everywhere just because they can, they think every weird joke is insanely hilarious.  Like this one Josh told us the other day:

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

I know, I know, I almost shot water out my nose because I was trying to keep from laughing.  That didn't help, it only made me and all the boys laugh harder.  It is not easy trying to teach boys what is and isn't appropriate, when sometimes not very classy things, are downright hilarious.

Another thing boys have a fascination with is boogers.  I HATE boogers.  Like I have a psycho phobia of them.  I know I have boogers.  Everyone does.  But they can be taken care of discretely.  I do understand to some level how they are cool.  Especially when little babies get them and they almost completely block their nasal cavity they are so big.  It is kind of rewarding to finally unlodge it.  I guess I can in some way see that appeal.

But once it is out, throw it away, don't look at it, don't flick it, and do NOT eat it.

Well, you can imagine how unheeded that directive goes in my house.  But at least I am not the only one that suffers.  My sister has been coming over a lot lately.  I still can't quite understand why she wants to.  She comes here to sleep and relax of all places.  How she can and chooses to sleep in a war zone of toddlers, I will never understand.

Anyways, she was over today and Matthew climbs up next to her to snuggle.  She glances over at him and this is kind of the way things went down from there:
-Oh gross, Matthew, don't pick your nose.
Silence.
-Matthew, seriously, don't do that.  Why don't you go get a tissue?
-I don't need one.
-Oh no way, that is such a huge booger, go get a tissue---no, no, don't eat it!
Munching and smacking.
-That is disgusting.
About 30 seconds goes by.
-How are you still chewing it?
Matthew gives a charming dimpled smile only Matthew can give and then you hear a gulp.
-I always eat my boogers. They are so tasty.
-Well, that's gross.  Don't think about giving me kisses anytime soon.
Matthew seems completely undaunted and quite pleased with himself with a smirk and smacks his lips.  I just sat on the opposite couch trying not to think about it and enjoying the fact that he had another girl to torture for the moment.

I am really grateful the Lord gave me boys, but man, they sure can be disgustingly adorable.

Watch Out Pacifists

Boys are crazy, especially when they get with older boys (ahem, certain uncles) that are crazy too. My Matthew is for sure the craziest of them all, so when he gets together with Uncle Ammon, major rough housing ensues.
Matthew: "Let's have a pillow fight."
Ammon: "I can't, I'm a pacifist. "
Matthew: "That's ok, pacifists are easy to kill!"

Words of wisdom from a four year old. So take a stand. :)

I wrote Mom!

Raising a child is far from easy, but there really are moments where you think, yup, totally worth it.  I had one of those moments on Sunday.  A lot of my family and friends were sitting on couches in our basement with my little family, watching the LDS General Conference broadcast.  My husband and I have always taken notes of spiritual impressions we have received.  Over the years our boys have pulled out their journals to draw pictures and our oldest began taking notes this year too. It is really sweet and I am thankful that at least in one thing they follow my example and it is a good thing. Haha

So I look over at my little Matthew, who has stolen my journal so he can "write" things. Mostly it is practicing the letter m. Totally fine. Then all the sudden he says "Mama, look, I wrote mom! Just like in my lessons, I remember this word, mom, that's you!"

I cried.

The first word he wrote, that I know of, is mom.

Of course then he proceeded to fill the page with lots of mom's and moos and Matthew's (thanks to my awesome mom sitting on the other side of him teaching him how to write his name).  

I am so thankful that I got to learn from my amazing mom. That she taught me to read and write and was endlessly patient with me showing off those skills, even with permanent marker on her beautifully expensive dresser. She taught me to be a mom that cares about the important things. Thank heavens we have mothers. 

And I am so thankful I am Mom to five amazing little creatures.

Changing Habits

I love sleep.  All day long I look forward to the feel of the smooth sheet and the comforting blanket on top of me and the pillow under my head.  And the quiet, oh, I long for the quiet.  And the time to recharge.  What a wonderful time of the day.

But once those little kids finally drift into dream world, it is like my energy spikes.  That is when it is time to party!  I don't want to sleep, because as soon as I sleep, it will feel like just seconds and then another day is upon me.  I love my little boys and love being with them, but it is nice to have those few hours of when they are slumbering.

It is a problem though, because I stay up later and later and then the next day I am exhausted and cranky.  Which makes me a not so nice mom, and the kids get more on my nerves.  So then I can't wait for them to go to sleep and then I stay up to enjoy it.  Thus leading to an endless cycle of not very happy home and exhausted mama.

Plus, my hubby has a really hard time getting out of bed in the mornings since his work out buddies have moved and there is no one he has to get out of bed for.  So he feels cranky without that time in the morning too.

It finally hit me yesterday that this has got to change and I need to be the one to change it.  I can't just expect it to get better without me doing anything about it.  So I am changing my habits.  And this is not something easy to do...and since I am not being very coherent, you can tell it is going to take a few days for my body to adjust.

I am waking up early.  That way, my handsome man has a reason to get out of bed.  And I get some alone time and a early start on the day.  And hopefully this makes me feel like going to bed earlier tonight.  I REALLY hope so.  It is funny, the boys aren't awake yet and I have already accomplished a ton of the things that usually take me a few hours to accomplish every morning.  Plus, Tyson and I have already had a little bit of time to talk, which we hardly ever do, so this may work out great.  I am really hoping.  :)

So really, why I am writing, is to say that people can change.  We are creatures of habit and it is for sure difficult to change the way we have always been.  For me changing from a night owl to an early bird will not be without repercussions I am sure.  However, it is still dark out, I can still hear the crickets, so it is kind of like it is nighttime anyways.  Except bonus, I feel like accomplishing things instead of munching.  So wow, win win.

You feel like there is something in your life you want to change?  Go for it.  You can do it.  If I can wake up before dawn, anything is possible.  :)

Thank You for My Eardrums

“I just want to poke my ear drums out with a pencil,” is what I tempted to post on Facebook yesterday.  It had been one of those days, after many days building up on me, of vacuuming and then as soon as I roll up the cord and put it away, I have a toddler sprinkle cracker crumbs as he jumps around on the floor to the unknown drummer in his head.  It was the millionth time of stepping in a gunky chewed up and spit out banana piece and trying not to be too grossed out as it oozes between my toes.  

It was the “Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy”

“What!?”

“Watch this!” as he proceeds to chew his food. 

Why do I have to watch him chew his food?  

And then as soon as I glance away to clean up a spitting up baby, or help with a math question, the “mommy, mommy, mommy,” chanting continues.  

It was the little meltdowns and battles that seem so petty to me.  It was the phone calls and visits from other people wanting me to listen and decide things for them when I just want to tell them the truth about what a jerk they are, but instead just smile and hold it in because how will my outburst help them really? 

It was pulling stuff out of fridge to make dinner amidst chaos and realizing I forgot to buy a main ingredient, so instead I make something that of course certain children think is disgusting and they never in their life could handle putting even a drop of it to their lips.

It was one of those days.

So, just before I posted that thought about eardrum pencil piercing, a thought flitted across my mind: “How sad it would be to not be able to hear.”

I was stunned.

I thought about all the things I would miss out on if I couldn’t hear.  The crickets chirping in the summer evenings, the whoosh of the diesel engine of the school bus pulling up telling me my buddies are home, the click of the door opening when my hunk gets home from work, the sizzle of frying butter, the giggle of kids getting tickled, and yes, even the incessant “Mommy, mommy, mommy.”

I am so lucky I can hear.

And I am so lucky to be picking up food off the floor all day long, because it means we have food.

And I am so lucky to have carpet all over the house, even though it is hard to clean, because having a carpet means I have a house, which means when it rains, I stay dry and when it is really hot outside, I stay cool.

And that really annoying washing machine that gets unbalanced every other load and shakes and thumps across the basement floor, leaking water if I don’t sprint to catch and stop it, well, I am really lucky to have that.  It means I have a way to clean my clothes.  In my house.  Without having to do it by hand.  And that I have clothes.  Lots of clothes.

And that tiny bathroom in our house where I slam my hip into the doorknob at least once a day, well, that means we have indoor plumbing and the privacy of a door that locks.  Also, I get the excuse to squeeze around my hubby when we brush our teeth and act like I don’t mean to invade his space. J

And those little kids that stress me out and make me feel completely crazy and tired and stressed and like taking a pencil to my eardrums.  I am really lucky to have them.  Because how lonely I would be without them.  I can have children.  As many as I want.

And I am doubly lucky because I get to stay home all day with them.

Not only that, they want to talk to me.  They want me to watch them.  That feel important when I look at them.  

They love me.

They love me.

Last night I became conscious of the fact that my greatest trials (and I recognize that they are really so trivial and “petty” to others), they are my greatest blessings. 

You can bet that this is about how my prayers went last night,

“Thank you Father, for carpet, for eardrums that work, for tiny bathrooms, my clothes and the ability to clean them, for messy little fingers and a house that looks like a hurricane just went through it no matter how hard I try, and thank you for the people I love most.  Thank you for giving me the life I always wanted.  And thank you for putting up with me complaining about it all the time.  Thank you for being eternally patient.  Please, help me be more like you.”