Detective Mom

Being a mom is so what I thought it would be, and so not what I thought it would be.  I knew I would change a million diapers, I knew I would be their coach, complaint department, best friend, worst enemy.  I knew I would get graham cracker kisses and I was so looking forward to that.

However, I did not expect the having to learn to pee either with an audience or with four children sitting outside the door.  I did not expect to constantly be covered in snot, drool, spit up or another unknown substance.  Literally, most days, my shirt and pant legs are smeared with something.  It is quite often difficult to see the point in getting dressed, much less ever vacuuming.  I know the second I do, someone is going to come in with leaves and crumble them up, or be eating a cookie and proceed to leave more on the floor than could possibly begin as one cookie in the first place.

Another thing I did not expect is the type of thinking I would be doing.  Often, very often, I find myself thinking "what is THAT?"  You know when you see that brown blob on the floor and pray that it is chocolate, a leaf, or even a bug, not poop?  Well, the other day, I walk into my room and there is this white powder all over the floor, across the bottom ridge of my hope chest and as I look closer, in the key hole of the hope chest.  I start thinking "what the...? Anthrax wouldn't be in my house...or drugs...maybe sugar?"  Then I see a very small remnant of a cracker.  So using my detective reasoning skills I deduct that little Andrew was eating a cracker, in my bedroom, saw the lock and thought, "hm, wonder if this cracker will open it."  So then he proceeded to twist the cracker, shaving off little crumbs into the lock and all over in the surrounding area.  At least, that is what I imagine to have happened.  I really will never know.  But that is one of the fun parts of being a mom I didn't know would happen so often: deductive reasoning and creating stories and images of who dunnit. 

I also didn't know that I would love these little creatures so completely.  So much so that I can't say no whole heartedly enough when I tell them to stay in their beds that they keep harassing me and then end up falling asleep bundled next to me.  They are just beyond cute.  I never expected to love like this.