I'm going to Utah!

It's official! I'm going to finally go back to visit my home town! We are going there for KJ and Court's wedding reception in July. I am totally bummed because Tyson can't miss work so I am going to be alone with my little bambino, but I am so excited to see my mountains again, even if everything else is different. High school buddies, if you are going to be there in July, I want to see you!

Grateful

As promised: the video of Joshua crawling.

You know that Brittney Spears song, "Lucky"? Well, the lyrics don't really apply, but I feel like there should be a song to express how I feel. Perhaps it is more a hymn that a song, something about the "debt of gratitude is mine." I sit here today, thinking about my little boy and his half birthday today and that got me thinking...so this is my thought process:

I cannot believe my little boy is so old. But at the same time, only six months? That is 1/44 of my life. I feel like he has been with me so much longer than that. Josh is so precious and so cute. How did I get so lucky? An incredibly handsome, wonderful, perfect husband, a great kid that makes me smile whenever I look at him, a great apartment with a dishwasher, a job with a family that is totally amazing and so nice to me, and great friends and a wonderful family and a sister who comes and visits me practically everday and got me a Ciao Bella shirt. What more could I ask for? And with all of that, I have a Father in Heaven who watches out for me everyday, listens to my every prayer even when most of the time I fall asleep or forget I'm praying, and He loves me and keeps blessing me. It is even harder than the impossible debt I have to my mom, there is no way I could ever repay the Lord for all He has done. It is so humbling and so wonderful. How can one not believe in God with so much goodness?

Baby Obsessed

Just in case anyone wonders, I freakin love my child. Every blog is about him. I do have other things I do beside sit around and take pictures of Josh...really...I do. I just can't think of any...

Gotta Have Faith

So I just wanted to write something about my mom and being a mom, I know I am a few weeks late, but well, better late than never right? So I used to be baby crazy, the older I got the more I wanted a kid. I thought I knew all about kids, how to raise them, that I would be natural and all that. Well, I was dying to have a baby, especially right after Tyson and I got married. I thought I was soooo ready, I mean I worked with kids 40 hours a week, I could take care of like 4 babies at a time, being a mom really couldn't be that hard. But it really isn't. I cannot believe how much longer it takes just to do laundry and clean my apartment. Before Josh came, I could do that in maybe a few hours, now I have to split those activities into different days during the week so it is actually possible to accomplish them. I cannot believe how tired I am sometimes, how many times I wake up during the night, how much I worry about Josh. I never realized how selfless moms have to be, and how hard that is. How did my mom do it?! Seven kids?! How?! Not only that, how does she let them go? I know, Josh is only six months old, but still, I keep thinking about what my life would be like without him. When he grows up, how will I give him away to some girl? How will I know that girl will take good care of him? Then there is the horror that maybe he won't even be a good kid, that he will sell drugs and have a gang and run away and me never even see him again. But then again I am rather dramatic and I would rather not think about this. How do people raise kids when they don't know and believe in the Lord?

He is in everything, He helps with everything. I know I can trust Him and even my greatest fears don't seem so bad, because He will make everything okay if I trust Him and keep the covenants I have made with Him, and teach my children of Him. This knowledge makes me love and respect my mother all the more. I miss her a lot. But being so far from her has really helped me in a way, I have had to learn how to do these things without always being a weight to her and I have had to grow up. When Josh doesn't sleep at night, I can't call my mom to have her come over and watch Josh the next day so I can sleep. It has really made me be strong and it has helped me lean on Tyson more than I would have otherwise. I feel really bad sometimes because I am so short tempered with Tyson now. Things bug me now that never used to. I am so grouchy without any warning and it makes me sad, I miss that newlywed "I could never be mad at you" feelings. But at the same time, I am thankful that our love has to be built stronger and with more patience. It has to withstand storms (which will probably later on in my life look like mere drizzles in comparison), and it always comes out stronger and deeper. I love my family, I love little Joshua, I love how he calms down when I hold him or even when I am near, I love how he lights up when Tyson walks in the room, I love that Tyson loves Josh so much. I love being a wife and a mother. It is so different than I expected it to be, but I love it.

p.s.- the rose was from Mother's Day from church and Josh looks awesome in all the pics, but in the one with me (I look crazy, I still haven't gotten the photo of myself thing down), but if you look close, you can see one of his two teeth, so cute!)

Freakin' Hilarious

So just warning all who watch this, I have never laughed so hard. I was practically dying. Josh is the funniest kid, we will eat anything and not really flinch until bananas of all things, who would have thought?!

My Hardworkin Men

Josh trying to help his Daddy fix the table...pretty cute.

My Precious

So almost every picture we take is of Josh.

But I guess it cannot be helped, he is just so adorable! The one in the pot was hilarious, I told Tyson I was starving and so he said we will just have to cook Josh. He grabbed a pot and put him in it. I was dying I was laughing so hard. Funny thing is, Josh thought it was funny too. Good thing he knows we love him...

Books...

So I am in a phase, where all I want to do is read. However, there are only so many children's books I can read and I swear I have read like five hundred in the past month. Does anyone know of good books, that will challenge my brain, keep my happy and that aren't awful morally? It is so hard to find a good book in the millions there are without a guide...

Baby Tooth

So my little boy just got his first tooth. It is the cutest little thing. I'm kind of nervous though for the biting to start, but seriously he is the cutest little creature I ever laid my eyes on. This is an attempt at the tooth, but I doubt you can see it...